Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
