Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
