Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
