There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Randomize
