Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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