What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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