i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?