I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.