They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
