just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
