Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
