Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Randomize
