You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
