You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize