he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
