You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
