NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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