Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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