Say something about gay babies.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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