so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
