Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
either way he was missing a nipple.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
