meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
