His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Randomize