don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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