Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
