So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
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