It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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