O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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