I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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