In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
wow bdsm is so cute
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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