I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
