i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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