His apartment number was 69. I had to.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
that may or may not have been my penis.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
