Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
