Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I just cut my nipple shaving
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Randomize
