Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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