I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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