wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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