u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
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