There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Randomize