I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Randomize
