Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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