I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
