You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
