it was like his penis was on wheels.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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