It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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