Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
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He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
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He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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