Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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