i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
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