I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
