you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Can I color on your dick again?
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
