return my video game
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
