My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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