Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
