PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
