If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
