where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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