Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Randomize