So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
